Caddy Shack Teaches Parenting!

Caddy Shack Teaches Parenting! Yep you read the line correctly. The movie, the old movie with Chevy Chase teaches parenting techniques. Now before you think I have lost my mind, or that I ever had a mind, or there he goes again, let me explain and build my case.

In the movie, the golfing character played by Chevy Chase is practicing golf and teaching one of the caddy's about life. He is playing golf, putting, making all of these strange sounds like dunnnannnnnnnnannn.....when he kicks, hits, or putts the ball. While he is doing this he keeps talking about "Being the Ball"when you play golf. That is you must become one with the ball, be the ball, understand the ball, etc...

It was at this moment that it hit me, PARENTING TECHNIQUE!

Here's the scenario I have seen played out too often, and now that I have grand-children, yes I do have 4 and now someone to play with, I tend to watch for this in them. As an example have you ever been in the store shopping and a parent comes down the isle with their little terror in the basket or in hand. The mom or dad is trying to complete the shopping before her little one reminds the world that they are in control. The parent says something like, "If you are good, I will take you to grand-mother's house when we are done." This is a secret code for "now is the time for you to erupt!" The child yells, kicks and screams, "I don't want to go to grand-mother's house!"

Due to shear embarrassment, the parent backs down and says, "OK, we don't have to go to grand-mothers house if you don't want to." REALLY?! The CEO of the family, this little tike in tow made the decision not to go to an adults home just because the pouted, temper tampered, and whined their way into getting their way? How does this train and equip your child for the future in school, in social gatherings, or work?

The boss comes in one day and asks the employee to do something that they really don't want to do and the employee screams, cries, and yells "I don't want to do that!" The employee pouts, holds their breath and the boss does the only thing they can do; call 911 as an adult has totally lost it.

You see Caddy Shack Teaches Parenting when being the ball should be translated to be the parent. You are the parent. You are the one that sets the rules. You are the one that has the veto power of events. You are the final say so. WHY? Because it is time to Be The Parent.

In love a parent of a toddler makes the calls and that is it.
In love with a teen a parent still makes the calls and has input from their teen. The teen has to realize that the buy in from them also helps them realize that there are consequences to their failure to perform, obey, or to be respectful to the parents. Be The Parent when the teen yells, rolls their eyes, or is disrespectful to you when you have to hold the line to make the consequences of their failures to be obedient. You see you are not having a battle with your teen you are training them to fully function in society, culture, and to become responsible adults in a timely manner.

Parents I am here for you. If I can help you, let me know.
Be The Parent!
Caddy Shack Teaches Parenting!
Fore!

I'm Pulling For You, We're All In This Together!

I'm Pulling For You, We're All In This Together! is a saying that I have been using for years and it's not mine. I must confess that I 'borrowed it" from another great philosopher by the name of Red Green from the Red Green Show on Public Television. In the show he is talking to 'older men' about things in life that seem to affect them at this stage of their lives. Things like hair growing in places that it never has before, such as an ear; or hair not growing where it once did like the top of your head. He gives folksy advice that you can use to cope with this stage of your life.

I have been using this phrase for years at the conclusion of most of my articles in youth ministry or at the end of my monthly newsletter called NETMA, which stands for "Nobody Ever Tells Me Anything"and I give it out to the parents. The reason that I use this phrase is that for this time period in the lives of parents of teens I'm Pulling For You, We're All In This Together in discipling, disciplining, and teaching the students. But here's the rub! I am not responsible for the student in these areas but the parent is. However, I am here to help the parent through these 'turbulent' years.

I have been there and done that. I have read, and continue to read books, articles, and talk to other youth pastors about how to deal with students in certain situations. How do we help parents to be the leaders in their homes? Bottom line, always remember, "I'm Pulling For You, We're All In This Together!"

Now for the parents of students in our Youth Ministry that might read this know that I am here for you. It is not my job to reach you, teach you, or to be there for you! That's right, it is not my job; it is may calling! I love to help you, to teach you, to equip you; pray for you and to just be a listening ear if you need to talk.

To parents and friends that are not in my local Youth Ministry and you are reading this; then you too are in my area of influence. Email, call, txt or tweet and I will help you anyway way I can. Why would I make myself available to you or to anyone for that matter? There is only one true reason: I'm Pulling For You, We're All In This Together!

Getting a drink and processing

I just returned from Catalyst 2010 or as I was told by someone that loves me and tries to keep me current, #CAT10, or something like that, I realized that I wasn't thirsty. I had been in the presence of God, along with some godly people, and some that I wasn't real sure about but I had been drinking from THE fountain; Jesus.

The men and women, Beth Moore was just one of the ladies that brought it, along with likes of T.D. Jakes, Seth Godwin, and some guy by the name of Andy Stanley, brought the word. I took notes, bought Cd's, received downloads, talked to vendors, watched some incredible things such as a human cannonball right in front of me!

So here's the thing, what do I do with all of this? I have been overwhelmed and feel as if I got a drink from a fire hydrant with the valve set wide open! I have talked to vendors about ministry opportunities, missions, finances, and causes that make me feel that I am a terrible Christian. BUT there are take aways that I have to look at FOR ME. Things that I believe that GOD is showing me from my notes, from his word, from the Spirit stirring within me.

The last time that I went to Catalyst, I don't remember the number or much of anything, I left with such a stirring in my spirit that I moved to a new assignment of God in less than 6 months! So today, tomorrow and the days ahead I will be processing the things that I have heard, learned and have been challenge about.

So here's the question for you. IF you went to #CAT10 tell me what you drank and what you are processing! Did you drink? And what did you get?

Play to the last second!

You know it's true when you are playing a game that you have to play to the final second of the game or Play to the last second! You know the routine of not giving up or quitting when you are down. How that you have to play every down of every quarter or sequence of plays or you can loose your momentum or your lead and lose it all.

On October 2nd, 2010, just a few moments ago, my beloved, or sometimes liked, Tennessee Volunteers Football team lost to the LSU Tigers in the last few seconds of the game. The VOLS were ahead by 4 points and the Tigers were driving and the VOLS were guilty of a penalty. This gives the Tigers another chance and they win in a last second play.

Now I hate that the VOLS lost the game but they weren't even in the same league as the Tigers. They fought valiantly but lost at the end. Now as I watched the game I was proud of them but in my heart I knew the out come was as it would be; and I was right.

Here's the thing about the game and learning to Play to the Last second. In the Christian life isn't that what we all want to do? That is to play, or live our lives to the very last second! To live our lives in such away that others will see Jesus Christ in us as we live and Play to the Last Second? To live in such a way that we might hear Jesus say, "Well done good and faithful servant!"

So here's the thing, go out there and live your life to the fullest and do everything you can to Play to the Last Second!

Like Father Like Son

Yep, Like Father Like Son, is the phrase that you hear people say about someones child when they see the child, hear them, or watch them in an environment of their own.

Recently I saw a posting or blog of my son's posted on his church's website/blog. It had a lot to do about coffee cups that he owns (I can relate!). The two that mean the most to him are from Bybee Pottery in Waco/Bybee area of Kentucky, same location now 200 years! The other is from Tate Knob Pottery outside Berea, same location now about 30 years. He has other cups but these two mean the most to him, you can read below why in just a minute.

I want to take a moment to say that the phrase "Like Father Like Son" could have been said about Jesus from the New Testament. Jesus said that he and the father are one; if you have seen me you have seen the father. It is my prayer that for you as a believer that you too might have that said of you too. "Like Father Like Son Like You!" We are to become in the image of Christ so that others may see Christ in us and when they see Christ in us they may see the Father as well. SOOOOO....as you read the blog post of my son, enjoy, reflect and understand that my son walks with the Lord Jesus Christ, just like his dad does so I guess you can say, "Like Father Like Son!"

"I just counted, and my wife and I own somewhere in the neighborhood of 18 coffee mugs. They range from travel mugs from Starbucks, to a plastic mug my dad got before I was born. We have the 10 that came with our dinner set someone got us for our wedding. I guess we have 20 cups if you count the two 24 oz latte cups that I just use for cereal and soup. The point is, I love coffee and have plenty of options to choose from when it comes to drinking my favorite morning drink.

Nine times out of ten, I choose one of two cups. In fact, I’m drinking out of one as I write this right now. My two favorite mugs were made near where my parents live in eastern Kentucky. They live in Berea, which is the Artisan capital of the world. I love going there. In the same afternoon, you can visit a weaver’s shop, woodworkers’ shops, local craft shops, a chocolate-maker’s store (who was trained at Hershey as a kid), and multiple pottery studios. The mug I’m drinking from as I write this was created at Tater Knob, a pottery studio that is nestled among the tall hills of the region. You have to step over this huge dog to get into the shop, and see all these creations everywhere you look. The potters invite you back and allow you to watch them turn bowls, cups, and just about anything you can think of on their wheels. You feel like part of the family. Their hands made the cup I drink out of at home, and it is unique and beautiful to me.

The other mug I drink from came from Bybee pottery, which is also near my parents’ home. What amazes me about this company is that they have been owned by the same family and made pottery in the same building for 200 years. The floor in the “throwing room,” where the pottery is actually turned, is 18 inches higher than the rest of the building, because of the generations of clay dust that has settled there. I love the history, and the rugged craftsmanship of their art.

Why do I tell you about these cups? I have almost two-dozen cups at my disposal, yet I consistently drink out of only two because they are unique, individual, and special to me. I’ve met their creators, looked them in the eye, and seen how much they love creating their craft. They don’t’ do it for the money; they do it for the sheer love of creation. They do the exact same job as a factory produced mug, but their beauty is in their hand-made imperfections. They have character.

God is building you and building me. What makes us beautiful is not our perfect edges that we present to everyone. When we come to church or walk out our doors, we present this perfectly finished, polished life, but that’s not who we are. So, there are chinks in our armor. So, we’re missing a few polished places.

Perfection doesn’t make us beautiful in God’s eyes; allowing his handiwork to shine through does. You are unique, individual and loved by God. Not because of your perfect records you may cling to so dearly, but because you have been in the hands of the Maker. Let his fingerprints shine in your encounters and interactions today."

So there you have it, the words of my son, in whom I am well pleased!

Law Breaker and Grace

OK so here we go again with a new insight into my so called life. I was recently working on several things at home that involved moving paper from one stack to another stack and then back again to the first stack. I came across a folder that I carry from time to time and opened it to see what tid bit of information that I might have had in it or some long lost and forgotten thought. When I opened the folder I saw a receipt which meant I had spent some money on something important.

Upon closer look at the receipt I saw that it was attached to something that looked official and important. It was important! It was my registration and license renewal for my truck. The date was from APRIL! Now today as I compose these lines, it is much later than April; in fact, I have just completed my Summer activities with our Youth Ministry. We have had VBS, fellowships, I did a missions camp, we had two youth camps, and I have driven thousands of miles! I even drove to the seminary multiple times with my license/tags technically expired. I have been a law breaker and didn't even know it!

Of course you know me, that causes me to think about a spiritual analogy. How many people do we know that are law breakers and they don't even know it? Now I know we are not under the law but you get my point. How many are not in relationship with Christ but they don't know that they need to be? How about the idea that they are against God and are not aware of their need to not be a law breaker? How can they know if we don't tell them? The Bible tells me that we have to be the ones telling others about Christ. We have to be the ones that are no longer afraid of what others might say to us or think about us; more than we care that our friends being lost and without Jesus.

So today I am putting my sticker onto my truck to make sure that I am not breaking the law. I mean it's really simple when you think about it, you peel the backing off and place it onto the tag.

If I had been pulled over prior to today I would have pleaded ignorance or argued that I had purchased the sticker. I could have said I used to have the sticker but I don't have it anymore or I have no idea what happened. One day I just decided to not use the stickers anymore. Let's face it, I can still drive. It's not like I forgot how! You know I could argue, discuss, and plead all I want and still be a Law Breaker and Grace would not be given. Why? I am guilty. Sure there are excuses and reasons that I had not fully gone through all I was supposed to do but bottom line, guilty.

This is exactly the same with us before Christ. I used to go to church. I was a good person and never mistreated anyone. What do you mean that I am guilty like those people?! God I didn't like some of those people at the church because they were such hypocrites! I thought because my daddy and mommy went to church and were 'saved' that I was good too, kind of like a family thing.

You mean to tell me that all I have to do is to pull back the hardness of my heart and say yes to Christ, asking for forgiveness of my sins, repenting of them, and walk in obedience to him?

It sounds so simple to move from being a Law Breaker to Grace, and it is!

DNA is Proof of Intelligent Design

Okay I have to admit that I don't understand lots of things in life. Things that other, much smarter people, understand without any hesitation and don't even try to think hard to do it. They understand small things such as how a normal grown adult male can eat a Quarter Pounder w/Cheese and gain five pounds while a teenage boy can eat three of them and never gain an ounce. How about this one, "two woman can spend 15 minutes together and can tell you more details about each other than two men can when they have spend 4 hours together playing golf."

I was coming home the other day and heard a conversation between two talking heads on the radio that were talking about DNA like most people would read a box score over yesterday's baseball game. They were talking about the discovery of the model that proved there was a reason for who we are and how we are put together. As the men were talking they talked about the double helix and how the acids and information was formed together to give the building blocks of life.

It was at this moment that what they said started to make sense to me. They used these terms that made the difference. When we look at computer programs we understand that they are bits of information or code that are put together as information to make the program come alive. That is to say that the bits of information formed together is transferred through the computer and now the communications move along the wiring, or memory systems or even the drives contained within it. I understand the old binary system, somewhat, where information is in code of 0 or 1 and combinations of those numbers to make the computer program work. The DNA molecule also does the same thing! The scientists have discovered the helix has codes with in it that are the building blocks of life.


http://www.food.gov.uk/multimedia/bigimages/dna2-web.jpg

Now here's the rub for me. If we have a computer program running in a computer that means there had to be a computer programmer. This means there has to be a person that designed the program or it will not work. So if we understand the complexity of a computer program with all the information needed to be just right or it won't work then think on a more grand scale. Think about life and now DNA with it's information as the building blocks of life. Being life is so much more complex and delicate to exist, this means that there must have been some true intelligence in place to design that. Failure to have everything in place there is no life or existence. So when I look now at the DNA issue about life I have no argument left in me. I just have to say that after reviewing and comparing these two, DNA is Proof of Intelligent Design.

Here Comes The Bride!

I guess it is because I am getting older, which is something that all of us are doing if we are alive, and maybe I just notice things more than I used to. But weddings are not as bad as I once thought they were. I know, I know, some of you reading this are appalled that I would not like to go to a wedding of a close friend that is the happiest days of their lives. OK you're right, normally I don't like to go because it is NOT the happiest day of my life. Let's face it you go to a wedding, you know a handful of people, you watch other people that are much closer to the wedding party and you get to observe it all. Normally you hear this song that you can't sing called "Here Comes The Bride!"

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, really I am not, it's just a fact. You go, you sit, you listen, you applaud at the appropriate time, maybe chuckle along the way and if you are lucky you stay for the cake at the end. Now that's a plus! However, weddings within themselves have not been my forte if you will. That has been up to the last 2 years now.

I have seen several of my youth that have been involved in my youth ministry grow up and get married. I have conducted the wedding ceremonies of both of my children, cried in both of them! To witness the groom as he sees his bride coming down the isle all smiles and filled with excitement is a wonderful thing.

This last weekend I went to a dear friend's daughter's wedding. It was HOT and outside, but no matter. The bride arrived with her father in a horse drawn carriage as everyone was looking on. The father of the bride gave away his only daughter to a young man that well, this is the only girl and if you are the father of a daughter know this, any guy is only one step above an orangutan, and my apologies to the monkey! At the reception of this wedding the brother of the bride sang a song to the newly wed couple and he rocked! She kissed him and said thank you. The father of the bride did the traditional dance with the bride with a twist, he sang to her the Steven Curtis Chapman song, "Cinderella" to her live while he danced! How do you do that?

The reception was fun, loud, dancing and celebrating the wedding that had just taken place.

This of course reminds me of Christ and the church. How that the bride, the church, is in preparation for the marriage feast. I think of how the father is preparing the bride, the church, for that final day. The Bible is full of scripture that tell us the church is like a bride adorned for the groom. How that Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding feast, or reception, in Canna. The church is to be pure for the groom. The purity is only through the blood of Christ. It is for the church to mature and grow and to bring as many people into the fold as we can, not for the growth of the church but for the one and only Jesus Christ.

So today as I think of the beautiful wedding that I just witnessed I think of the day the celebration will last forever when we don't hear "Here Comes The Bride!" but the groom will appear to take his church home. Oh happy day.

Are You Talking To Me?

Have you ever had those conversations in a crowded room or in an area where there are tons of people all talking at the same time and you realize that someone is trying to get your attention? You think you hear them saying something to you but you are not sure. You may even hear your name or you may even pick up parts of a conversation that has something to do with you but you are still not sure. You peruse the room and you now know that someone has been talking to you but you didn't know it. You make a concerted effort to hear more fully and then you ask the question, "Are You Talking To Me?"

It is only now that with all the noise going on around you that you finally can concentrate on the communication coming your way. You focus on what is being said. You disregard all the other things going on around you. Now you can better understand what is being told to you.

I have seen this happen 2 times this summer in 2 different summer camps for our students. The first week we were in a camp in North Carolina, one of the best camps around when it comes to teaching, preaching, and telling deep spiritual truths. The speaker was bringing it, if you know what I mean, and he stopped and mentioned something about authority in the lives of our students. He said something like this, "Students you will NEVER grow as a Christian if you do not respect and be obedient to the authority that has been placed over you in your life." Wow, that got every one's attention. We talked about it in our church group time and they acknowledged that this is an area that all of them needed to work on .

The 2nd time that I heard this was in a different camp in the entirely different direction from the first camp, in Western Kentucky and a whole different group of students, and speaker. The speaker was preaching, bringing it in love and he said this, "Students the way that you as Christian students talk to your parents is UNGODLY with no respect, no obedience, and you are not respecting the authority that has been placed over you in your life. You have to respect those that are over you, including parents and youth leaders, if you ever expect to grow as a child of God."

The same thing in 2 different camps, from 2 different speakers/preachers, and 2 different sets of students. Now I know that our students needed to hear this but then it dawned on me too. "Are You Talking To Me?"

God is not only talking to students at these camps but also to us adults. I am on the same journey as many of our students and I need to get it as well. So today, as I am recuperating from the weeks away from camp I am asking the same question that all of us need to ask, "Are You Talking To Me?"

True Life Adventure!

True Life Adventure! It was one of those stories that we used to read in various magazines that made you think, Wow! wonder what that would be like to have that happen to me? There were stories such as bear attacks in the back woods and having nothing but a stick to beat the attacker off with....

So today, I had a True Life Adventure that happened to me. NO, there wasn't a bear, lion, or tigers, that were in my path. NO, I didn't stop a robber in the middle of a bank robbery. NO I didn't do a stop a bomb at the last second but I did do a good deed!

Today while driving to grab a cup of coffee and sandwich I saw smoke coming from the mulch! I slowed down and realized that the mulch was on fire! Quickly I stopped my truck, turned on the flashers, opened the door to do something. The fire didn't appear too big so I started to stomp the fire out. PROBLEM! I was wearing sandals! It looked like I was dancing, not very good dancing mind you, but dancing nonetheless. My feet were hot so I took off a sandal and tried to beat the flames out, to no avail.

Finally a person that I worship with on Sundays stopped to help and along with his wife we put water on it and yet the fire wouldn't stop! Others tossed bottled water to us and we poured it on the mulch as well. Then we realized that 911 was probably in order. The fire department came and put out the fire with lots of water.

The fireman said that once the mulch gets fire in it that it breaks out from underneath it and it's hard to put out.

Spiritually speaking that is the way it should be for all of us. We should have the fire deep inside us and it should be hard to put out! You see, Jesus is the fire that burns deep inside me and he is NOT going to be put out. That is the real, "True Life Adventure!"